Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Decisions, decisions

as a person who stresses about every decision I had a recent revelation. hopefully this is something that will stick with me for life but I fear it will be a recurring lesson. I have learned that our decisions are only temporary. we might think that every decision is really the biggest of our life but it is not. the most important decision we have to make is whether if not to believe in Jesus Christ as savior. once that is made all else should gain new perspective. although my perspective didn't come til now it has hit home numerous times. I've been talking with seniors about where to go to college. I'm tying to help them understand it is just a decision. the reality is if you choose the wrong school if don't like it you can transfer! the same is true with almost everything. sure it might not be fun to deal with transfering but it is still an option.  yes our decisions have consequences but with Jesus on your side all things are possible right. maybe this where I am really getting hung up. (ah revelation even as I am writing...wonderful!) if we truly trust in Jesus than we know that he will provide for us. so if we make the wrong decision he will provide. if we are struggling he will provide. if we are loving everything he has provided. the true decision is will you let god have control. god, today I let go. I know that what you have in store for me is so much bigger than anything I can imagine. today I let go of my worry, my fear, and my need for control. I trust that you are with me through every decision. oh yes my original point. our decisions are temporary. the worst that can happen is death. but again with Jesus is that really the worst option? I know its morbid but it completely changes the outlook on life when our fear if death no longer hinders us.  we have to realize god doesn't want us living in fear of always making the wrong decision. god has entrusted us with choice. I believe one of his greatest gifts of love to us is that we can choose. he has trusted us with this but not left us alone. that is the key to remembering that he is still with us. so again my point. realize that our decisions are not as big as they seem. although it seems like the bigger the scarier, remember that those are the times to trust the most and jump all in!
I apologize if this was a little preachy. I tend to get that way at night time! as you can see its been a huge lesson for me recently. battling decisions and trying to please everyone beats me up at night. hopefully someone understands where I'm coming from or needed to hear this.

p.s. I wrote this on my phone so I apologize for the bad grammar and punctuation

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Applying for jobs....

So this post might seem a little odd for those of you who know my current circumstances but I need to put some things to words first. And this helps others know where I am coming from!

          So, applying for jobs is awful, especially applying for jobs outside of the state.  Thankfully with the beauties of technology, often after filling out one application all you have to do is hit 'apply' and its off! However, there are so many jobs for teachers and they get filled so quickly that it seems like a never ending process.  Almost daily I check my websites to see new postings and check my ideal location schools for new opportunities, sorting through things and trying to decide what would really work for me.  At first I tried to be particular to location, grade level, district, etc. But after numerous No Thank Yous or no responses, I have gotten to the point of applying even if I really don't think its the perfect job.  After I told someone that I applied to a school in Nevada, she asked me if I thought it would be an awesome place to work and live. My response was that I had no clue, I just wanted a job. I was and still am completely emotionless to the entire process. I don't even get nervous hitting the apply button anymore.
          What is worse is getting further along in the process. I have participated in a handful of after-application but still preliminary questionnaires.  Hope arises just slightly especially when I get to know the school a little better and think it really might be a good fit for me.  But sure enough.... nothing. After the first couple, I again was emotionless.  I hope the reason for my lack of emotion is faith, that I know God will provide the perfect job in his perfect timing but I suspect the reason is fear of not getting a job and being stuck. Even though I do feel quite prepared by Spring Arbor, which is awesome, I often wonder how teachers ever got started. I know the economy isn't helping, but why would someone want to hire a new teacher who technically doesn't know what she is doing!?! I wouldn't want to hire a newbie!  But again, I know I have to have hope. So bottom line, I am emotionless about the entire process, BUT I have hope.  I know that my God is greater than all things and will provide something, maybe a sub position, maybe a position I never thought I wanted, or maybe, hopefully my dream position.  Although emotionless, I am hopeful and that I think is enough. 

Saturday, April 14, 2012


          Well folks. My new hubby, Moe, and I are excited about the adventures that lie ahead of us.  We know little of our future and what is really before us; but we love each other and are ready for whatever may come ;) 
          I have been applying for teaching jobs all over the country and a school in Thailand.  Hopefully I will soon have news for you.  For now, news will be about applying for jobs and the current life we live here in Ohio subbing part time and doing crazy things.  
          This week has been awesome for us! We are currently on spring break.  It is wonderful to have spring break even as adults!! I guess the saying real is true that teachers enjoy breaks more than students. I have been reading my heart out, which is very unusual for me.  I usually have no motivation for reading but this time is different. Maybe it is because of my motivation for the relevance of the material. Maybe it is because I really enjoy the books. I am proud to say that I have read all three Hunger Games books in a week. It is an amazing feat for me. 
          I wish I knew some teachers who had read them and were integrating them into their classrooms. I talked to one of my brothers friends about the books and he said that they were about hunger. I was somewhat surprised because that is not what I gathered from it at all! I wonder if that is how many young people view the books or if it was just his view. There are so many things that could be discussed in the classroom. Life and death, good vs evil, reality vs fantasy, propaganda and media (both in the book and about the movie). The list could go on!  Ugh I wish I had some  more teachers in my life.... I guess that means I need to start following some teacher blogs now that I have this!

Well I guess that is all for now. I have to finish cleaning the house and then I have the rest of the weekend free to enjoy my break!